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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 06:47
最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 06:47
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
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I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
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An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
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If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
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Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
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Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
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I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
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Am I lightheaded because I\'m not dead or because I\'m still alive?
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
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I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
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Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it\'s the exact opposite.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it\'s the exact opposite.
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A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
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In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
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Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
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It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they\'re yours.
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Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
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If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
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Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
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If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
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Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
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The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
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You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
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Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
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I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
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The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
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Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
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Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
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People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
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I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:28
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